Monday, 21 November 2011

Penning Some Thoughts!

 


I have been waiting to write this post for sometime now and finally got some time to do it!

Our Brother Abu Talha Dawud Burbank and his wife's raheemahumullaah sudden passing away has indeed made me ponder, reflect and created a kind of fear in me in many many ways and I have started questioning myself. I personally do not know both of them, but I knew brother Abu Talha from the day I started following the manhaj of the salaf and from the day brother Abu Khadeejah from Salafipublication visited the small island we lived to teach us and introduce to us this noble manhaj. May Allaah reward all of them. Aameen.

But still the love brother Abu Talha had for this dheen and his efforts of translating books and beneficial materials and his lectures have always helped me and my family in increasing the ilm of this dheen. And I have just got to know a sister who has been in touch with Umm Talha raheemahullaah especially for seeking advice in home-schooling her kids. And the sister used to tell me on and off how well Umm Talha has taught her kids with great Adab and Akhlaaq to be proper Muslims and her naseeha were so wonderful to hear, May Allaah reward her immensely and grant her Jannah. Aameen.

Having said this I have experienced the death of two beloved people in my life namely my father and my brother raheemahumullaah. I was only 14 years old when my father died and even though I missed him his death itself did not make a big impact on me at that time, mainly because I feel I did not know the religion as much as I did know when my brother passed away. So the death of my brother was so shocking for me and it was a great loss for many reasons, and I hope Allaah accepts him as a Shaheed and reward him with the highest place in Jannah. Aameen. So till this day I just cannot forget him and I miss him so much and indeed we come from Allaah and return to Him. And I feel the same with brother Abu Talha and Umm Talha even though I have not known them personally!

The thoughts that are kind of haunting me is "Am I ready to return to my Lord? Have I done enough? Have I taught my child how to be if Allaah takes me to Him? Have I given her the right tarbiyyah? Am I leaving a continued charity for me? And etc etc etc......

I used to be very worried before I read this as to what will happen to my daughter if I were to go (even though I knew Allaah would do the needful, heart was crying) ....

Abu Hazim Salamah bin Dinar passed by Abu Jafar Al Madini,who was sad at the time,and asked him;

Why are you sad? But if you wish,I would tell you why.”Ab Ja’far said,”Tell me why? Abu Hazim said,”Have you thought about what would happen to your children after you?” Abu Ja’far said,”Yes”. Abu Hazim said,”Do not do that,for if they are Auliya (supporter,loyalists)of Allah,then do not even fear for their well-being.If they are enemies of Allah,then do not worry about what will happen after you.

Hilyatul-Auliya,vol.3,pg232.

But after I read this I am even worried as to whether I will be able to leave a daughter who would always be an awliyah of Allaah. This is a greater responsibility.
I am so proud of Abu Talha and Umm Talha raheemahumullaah that they have left 8 well mannered and knowledgable children who are taking up the sudden passing away of their parents so well and calm Alhamdulillaah. Even though I did not witness this personally the people who visited them are bearing witness to this, masha Allaah! But you can witness to yourself how well brother Abu Talha's son responds to each comment on his beneficial blog and how well the Tarrbiya was given and how ellmannered he is, May Allaah keep all Abu Talha's children upon the right path till the end, Aameen! walillaahil hamd. No doubt they will miss their parents and no doubt they must be shedding tears but their Tarbiyyah was saheeh that Allaah granted them the patience and courage to go forward and I am sure He will look after them till the end Insha Allaah! 
I want my children to be the same even if Allaah decides to take me when they are young, and I want my children to be upon  Tawheed no matter what, I want my children not to compromise their dheen for anything else and I want them to be just firm upon this noble manhaj no matter what happens. The other day Maimoonah asked me after she got to know about Abu Talha's and Umm Talha's incident, "ummi, will you and Abi also die?, then who will look after me?" I knew the question was from the heart, I said " Allaah will look after you Maimoonah, but you must always remember even if Abi and Ummi die you must always worship Allaah alone and never ever make shirk and do all what pleases Allaah and all the good things we have taught you, then Allaah will reward us for every good you do". She was happy but with full of tears she said I will ask Allaah to keep Abi and Ummi with me!!! 
So for all this what should I do? I thought to myself, I am still thinking though!! Give importance to teaching children the dheen more than anything. The more you talk about Allaah and His dheen the more,  little children learn. They can be small but you are not going to loose anything by talking the real facts of the dheen to them. Cultivate love for Allaah, His Messengers and His dheen. Talk about the noble sahabah and their lives, talk about our scholars, daaees who have spent all their lives learning and acting upon that ilm to please Allaah alone. Give importance to this and link all what they study back to Allaah and His Messenger, make them not forget their Rabb not even for a second, et etc etc....
And this was one big reason many of us opted to home school our kids right? I thought to myself, sometimes with time and day to day workload we forget our intentions, we forget the priorities, we need to constantly refresh and rethink and evaluate whether we are right on track in giving this Tarbiya to our kids. 
Shaitaan makes us forget the feelings we experience after a loved ones death and make us think it would always happen to someone else and not for us... So days pass and years pass we have fallen into the trap of Shaitaan and drowned in the life of this dunya, what will be my fate if the angel of death is to come at that time ????? Allaah forbid and we ask Allaah to give us good endings. Aameen.
Just another reminder for sisters who have many children, take advantage ya akhawaat, you will leave behind support for one another Insha Allaah and be patient with all the troubles and hardship you go through in raising them and be happy of the sacrifices you make, Allaah has indeed blessed you all with many offspring and never ever grumble about it Insha Allaah! 
I ask Allaah to help me to cultivate this pure Tarbiya and make my offspring awliyah of Him forever and protect me from falling into error and make my intentions and actions sincere and guide me throughout and give me a good ending. Aameen! 
Just some thoughts put into writing, if this does not make sense sorry for wasting your time, if it does please do share your comments Insha Allaah, and I leave you with this beautiful advise given by brother Abu Talha raheemahullaah on raising kids, one of the last emails he had sent to a brother.. very beneficial Insha Allaah http://salafievents.wordpress.com/2011/11/14/disciplining-your-children-advise-by-abu-talha-rahimaaallah-islam-children-morals-muslim-sunnah-muhammed/

8 comments:

umm khadeeja said...

Asalaamu alaikum sis,

Jazakillah khayr for sharing your thoughts, and giving us a reminder.
This is something we think about very often....but how much do we show our thoughts in our action to prepare ourselves, and our children?
You have mentioned some things in your post which I definatly need to pay greater heed to, so Jazakillah khayr.

asalaamu alaikum x

UmmSara said...

assalamu alaikum,
MashaAllah great reminder and Jazakillahu khair for sharing. Death of your loved ones or sisters/brothers in Islam can be shocking. Loss of father was unexpected to my as well, but Allah prepared my for that day and gave me patience when I really needed. We pray to Allah to guide us and our offspring and give us good ending.

Anonymous said...

Bismillah,
I didnt know sh. Abu Talha and family but a sister dear to me knew them. She sent a message on that day about a bus catching a fire and Abu Talha and wife died. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rojiun.

Another sister who is very close to me was saying, her whole family- mum,dad,sister and a brother were on the same bus. And apparently most people walked out of the bus with no injuries at all. Her family walked out of the bus and were able to perform hajj with no problem, alhamdulillah. We were saying, SubhanAllah it must have been a qadar of Allah that sh. Abu Talha and wife were returned to Him the Almighty in a state of ihram. May Allah accept them as shaheed.

And jazakallah for reminders sis and amen to your duas.
ummSumayya

Anonymous said...

btw, sth i meant to ask, how did you purchase darul kitab series? mashAllah seem to be very good set of books but couldnt find in local islamic bookshops. Did you order them on phone from Sri Lanka? and is that number reliable? sth you could answer when you get some time inshaAllah

Umm Suhailah said...

Bismillaah

As Salaamu Alaiki!

This is something I always think about- who will watch my girls if something happens to me?

What you told Maimoonah was very much proper. Indeed, all we can do is put our trust in Allaah and teach our children to the best of our ability what is right and what is wrong.

I thought about this EVEN MORE since the brother and his wife passed away (May Allaah grant them both His highest level of Jennah Ameen)

It also has hit my husband hard.... Since all my girls are very small I often wonder where they will go.

After reading about the brother passing away so suddenly- I decided well to make dua that Allaah keeps me around and my husband until we are elderly :) - that if something happens to me that my husband finds a wife that will carry on what's right with the girls-
and I thought to get a co-wife. Honestly, I would rather my husband marry a sister- that is upon what is right, and loves my kiddos and I have comfort in knowing that if something happens to me- my kiddos will be ok Inshaa'Allaah.

Those are alllllllllllllllll the thoughts I have had. since my family and in laws are non-muslims. I have to work hard to make sure that all is ok.

But, I'm making dua that I am around long enough as well as my husband to married those little people off so their husbands can deal with them lol.

Baraka'Allaahu'Feekum for sharing and May Allaah reward you and your family with good in this life and the next Ameen

Imaan said...

as salaamu `alaykum...

I hear you sister and you made perfect sense. Jazakillah khayran for penning your thoughts down and sharing them. It is a sobering reminder and one much needed. May Allah reward you ameen.

busy mama and two busy bees said...

jazakallahu khair for posting this beneficial post. this is a constant thought for all the mother, I think. May Allah(swt) make our children our sadaqae zareea for us.i do i agree with your words that we need to remind ourselves constantly why we are doing homeschooling.often we forget about our priorities. May Allah accept our work and May Allah give us good ending. Ameen

Umm Maimoonah said...

Alaikum salaam warahmathullaahi wa barakaathuhu deares sisters and Jazzakillaah Khayr for your thoughts and feed back. And Aameen to your duas.

Umm Sumayya I bought the Darul Kitab Books while I was in Sri Lanka when Maimoonah was a month old lol! Any way please email the sister at info@darulkitabonline.com and you can place the order or inquire the shipping details and they will ship it to you and you can pay via paypal Insha Allaah! Many sisters who got to know via my blog purchased like this. But if you need any help please do email me Insha Allaah!

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