بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
“The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord."
Indeed, from Allaah we come, and to Him we return. Allaah decreed that my mother would return to Him last month.
"O Allaah, forgive my mother, raise her rank among those who are guided, and take care of those she leaves behind her. Forgive us and her, O Lord of the worlds; expand her grave for her and illuminate it for her."
It is narrated from Abu Hurayrah (radiyallāhu ‘anhu) that he said: “A deceased person will be raised in rank after his death.” So, he will ask Allah: “How has this happened my Lord?” It will be said to him: “Your son sought forgiveness for you.” (Al-Adab al-Mufrad of Al-Bukhāri, no. 36, hasan).
May Allaah keep us of those who continue to ask forgiveness for our beloved parents until we meet Him. Aameen.
Allaah blessed my mum with an 85-year lifespan and granted her the guidance to be upon His path until she met Him. She had a strong personality. She was a teacher by profession.
The picture above is the rocking chair that my brothers gifted my parents. A chair that has stories and memories. My father, Raheemahullaah, used this elegant chair to relax when he was alive. He returned to the Mercy of Allaah at 59 when I was around 14. I was very young to know the actual loss of a father at that time because my mother was there for me. Even though I missed him very much at 14, my life continued with my mum. After my marriage, I had to leave her and my home and subsequently leave the country to live in the lands of Muslims; she lived alone as she had always wanted to be in her own house and live independently. And my elder brothers were around to support her which they did till she passed away. May Allaah accept it from them. Aameen.
The rocking chair continued to be her place of relaxation while she watched her beautiful garden, read the Qur'aan, and penned her scripts and essays for radio programs. Yes, she was a radio artist contributing to a women's program broadcast at the national radio station for many years.
Today, the rocking chair is empty. A generation has passed. My mum knew about this blog; when Maimoonah visited her, she would show her the iPad and make her read. Other family members have spoken to her about the blog and shared with her the benefits. My mum was not a social media person. She did not have a smartphone or a TV. She reads the newspapers and listens to the BBC for a few minutes daily.
This post is primarily for my children to understand life and death and to apply the good examples from their grandmother to their lives to fulfil the purpose of their creation. And I hope this will also help others prepare for the long journey ahead.
The evening before my mum passed away, she wanted to speak to me. I knew she wished I was with her then, but we were miles away. She said she could not fast this Ramadhaan, which is the first time she will stop fasting as she feels frail. So she wanted me to ensure that I arrange the fidya (compensation - to feed the poor instead of fasting for the old and weak). And she said that is if I live.
I asked her if she had any fasts that she missed last year or even before, and she said she had been fasting all and had nothing to make up. She had been complaining about the leg pains that she had for over a year now, and I asked her to be patient and told her that Allaah would make it easy. The next day, Allaah decreed that the angel of death would visit her. Subhanallaah. Little did I know that it would be my final communication with her in this world."Mummy Mobile" will no longer be a receiving call on my phone. Qaddarallaahu Maashaa afaal.
If you had read my "About Me" document, which I shared before any courses, you would have noticed that I had mentioned that even though I went to school, my primary educator was my mum at home from day one. Alhamdulillaah, I learnt to read and write at home, including reciting the Qur'aan. Allaah blessed my mum with many skills and talents. She was proficient in the language, mathematics, and any subject. She was a great seamstress who used to sew all our clothes until recently. She would stitch beautiful dresses for Maimoonah and send them to us. She was an excellent cook. She has been the one who would cook from scratch when family and friends come home. Those days, visitors never came home with appointments; they would drop by, and she would start cooking immediately to serve them. I cannot remember a time my parents got food from outside when we were young. They always ensured they had ample food at home ready to cook for visitors.
My dad was very soft and would never raise his voice to anyone. My mum was different, and it was a combination of soft and firm parenting. My dad knew that my mum had a strict, disciplined personality, and he was content that the Tarbiyah of the children were taken care of, which sometimes led to Daddy being the best person and Mummy being the wrong person. Indeed, we value the discipline and the form of parenting we receive when we are older and appreciate their diligence so much.
Looking back, I am thankful to Allaah, who blessed me with a mother from whom I learned the best lessons. She was not perfect, as no one is perfect. However, the Ni'mah is that we were able to learn important aspects even from her shortcomings, which are now lessons for us. May Alhamdulillaah. May Allaah forgive her shortcomings and grant her the best companionship.
Allaah took her husband and her son before her. Allaah tested her with losing her son, who was only in his forties with a young family left behind, and she was patient. She had her trials and tribulations, and I have seen her complaining and seeking relief from her Lord every night during the best part of the night when our Lord descends to the lowest heaven.
She would never delay her salaah and was very punctual. She would get annoyed if others delayed the salaah or made her delay for any reason. The best of all is that she kept to her sunnah prayers and the night prayers continuously. Another important aspect was that she would not waste anything, she was extremely careful of this and many times we felt she was extreme in this. She would always remind us that Allaah will question us about our spending and wasting. May Allaah accept from her the long years of the goods done. Aameen. She was the kind of person who could not digest looking at someone who would delay doing things that she wanted to be done, especially the good ones. If there were charity to dispatched, she would not rest until it was done. This may have annoyed many, but it was her personality. She was an organised person; she had good eating habits, and her day and night were well organised too. Her routine was well established, and she could accomplish so much subhanallaah. She did not have a smartphone, but she still kept the ties of kinship; she visited them or called them regularly. My mum was blessed to have a wonderful neighbour. Alhamdulillaah. We are so much indebted to this beautiful family who was always nearby helping and taking care of my mum, especially during the last one or two years. May Allaah accept it from them and multiply their rewards. Aameen.
The major blessing for her and for us is that even with such a strong personality, she was receptive to accepting the correct manhaj when it was made clear to her. Even though we were born Muslims and prayed and fasted, the awakening of Tawheed and the correct manhaj happened only during my late teen years. When my brother Raheemahullaah explained to us the essence of following the correct methodology, she was receptive, and from then on, she started reading authentic books and began attending the classes where the books of scholars were read. She enjoyed these classes every week and was happy to attend the Duroos of the scholars whenever they visited the city.
When I met her a few months ago, she spoke to me for a few hours, and I only listened. She conveyed her final wishes to me, acknowledging that she had reached 85 years old and it was time for her to return to Allaah. It did not occur to me then that it would be my last meeting with her. I was hoping to visit again next summer if Allaah permits. She informed me that she had no debts and had given away whatever she needed to give to her grandchildren. She wanted us to be united and maintain family ties even after her death. My brothers had been taking good care of her, and she expressed her gratitude for their efforts. She missed her children's company, but she understood they had their own families to attend to. I recalled the advice of Shaikh Ghaalib, who taught us to care for our children without expecting them to return the favour in our old age. Instead, we should do it for the sake of Allaah, as He has commanded us, and He will take care of us in return. Allaah sent her a good sister who she was happy with to take care of her during the last few months which was indeed a great blessing. May Allaah reward the sister immensely for being her companion and carer. Aameen.
When I gave birth to Maimoonah, she was the one who took full responsibility for taking care of the new baby, as everything was completely new to me. She would cook, wash, clean, bathe the newborn and do everything, subhanallaah. It was hard for me to see her doing so much work. It was Ramadhaan, and she would make sure everything I needed was there before she would go for Qiyaam to the Masjid with my husband. When Maimoonah was growing, she bought everything and spent her time with her. When we visited her later, when Maimoonah was around 5 - 8 years old, she would engage her in play. She bought these tiny clay pots for Maimoonah to cook and have fun. She made sure she sent gifts to my children every Eid. Such beautiful memories, subhanallaah.
I can keep writing about the good memories. Alhamdulillaah. Her 85 years of life is an example for my family and me. A long life with obedience to Allaah is a blessing. She was preparing for this journey. Alhamdulillaah, she even bought her kafan (the shroud) and instructed us that she had packed the necessary things for her Janazah. Her wishes were fulfilled. Her Janazah was packed after fajr, and there were so many of her students, students whom she taught at primary levels, now maybe fathers and grandfathers. May Allaah bless you all.
It is difficult indeed to imagine she is no more. I wake up with the intention back in my mind that I should call her today, and I quickly realise the loss. Our parents have left us and this world and are experiencing Brazaakh right now. However, we are still connected through our deeds. Our Merciful Lord has facilitated a connection and promised an increase in their status due to the righteous deeds of their children. We ask Allaah to continue to keep us firm upon His path and aid us in continuing our righteous deeds so that our parents will still enjoy the rewards. Aameen.
